Interwebz outrage, writer DNA, and what does it matter?

Today's blog post is inspired by some responses I saw to a friend's helpful post on a private author email loop. The friend had run the post by me and others before posting, and I (and others) thought it was a very well-written, quick summation of things newbie authors should know.

Of course, the Internet being what it is, there was immediately a couple of asshats (despite most of the responses being positive) who had to piss all over the post, because, ya know--INTERWEBZ OUTRAGE.

Seems to be a disease with no vaccine or cure other than, oh, common sense.

From what I could tell, the disgruntled responses seemed to come in somewhere around the DON'T YOU PUT ME IN A BOX to the I'M ADULTISH YOU AIN'T THE BOSS OF ME range. But it once again hammered home the point in my mind that writers definitely have widely varying "lineages."

So this is me, boxing commonalities--roughly--into, you know, boxes of writer lineages. Most of them not bad or good, they just ARE. And yes, of course, there are hybrids and variations and mixes and matches and pick one from column A and one from column B and OH MY GOD now I want pork lo mein and eggrolls.

Ahem.

1) Jus sanguinis - You come from a "writerly" family, and it's just what you do. Maybe your parents are both writers, scholarly or otherwise. Or maybe they're academics who instilled a love of wordage into your genetic code, both nature and nurture. Or teachers or librarians or massive bookworms who are unfulfilled novelists who instill in you their hopes and dreams to become the next Pulitzer Prize winner. Do you enjoy it? Well, okay, sure, maybe, whatever *shrugs*. You didn't know you had a choice but to enjoy it, but it's fun enough. Or, maybe it's da bomb. Or, maybe you do it because you don't know anything else, or you feel it's expected of you. Or, whatever.

2) De novo - You just ARE a writer. If they looked at your DNA under a microscope, it would be Times New Roman 12-point. You might have been "that child" in the family, the one where both parents shrug and say, "I dunno,"(your father doesn't outright accuse your mother of an affair with his hunky English Lit professor cousin but it might have crossed his mind until it was discovered you possessed your father's allergy to cream of mushroom soup) but they go with it. (Or, if you're unlucky, they try to talk you into becoming an accountant.) You likely devoured books from a young age the way most kids would have devoured Cadbury Creme Eggs had they not been under adult supervision and lacking the finances to perpetually gorge themselves on same-said treats. You might have been writing stories even when you were in grade school. Your teachers learned NOT to give you creative writing assignments because you turned in 300-page manuscripts while the requirement was 100 words (and your classmates struggled and griped about that, much to your confusion and possibly derision). You are constantly trying to get better as a writer, devouring not just fiction, but books and articles on the art and craft of writing. Writing isn't what you do, it's who you ARE. You did it before you could make money at it, you'd keep doing it even if no one ever saw it, and if you can make money doing it? Then that's YOUR idea of Heaven, baby. They are the fucking Rambos of the publishing world. Publishing is the Zombie Apocalypse, and they are the survivalists who will RULE THE NEW WORLD.

3) Gilligan - You stumbled into it. Whether it was because you realized there were other people out there writing slash fiction pairing Spock and Kirk in hawwwwt monkey sex positions, or you read a book that you loved except for the ending and said, "Hey, I can do better than THAT," or you put enough blog posts together with enough people saying, "Hey, you should write a book." They are the common man pushed (or sometimes pulled kicking and screaming) into publishing, and are trying to find their way around this new dimension, like Arthur Dent being handed a towel by Ford Prefect and teleporting off Earth. (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

4) Thurston Howell, III - "You mean there are people writing shit, putting it up on Amazon, and inking movie deals? SIGN ME UP FOR THAT SHIT!" The ONLY reason they're writing is because they think they'll get rich doing it. It's only about the money, NOT about the writing, and they don't give a shit what you think.

--

I am of the de novo lineage. I'm lucky my parents humored me, my dad brought me home an electric typewriter from the flea market, and the county school system gave me a semester of typing in middle school when I'd wanted to be in band. I started reading in kindergarten, and was plopped into advanced reading classes--the next grade up and the only kid in my classes that did that--for the first several years of my grade school career. I knew from a VERY young age, once I was old enough to realize that the books I eagerly devoured were written by people who did this for a LIVING, that I wanted to do THAT. As a teenager, I would live for the Saturday nights when my parents would go out for the evening so I could set my typewriter up in the living room and beat it half to death without my parents finally cutting me off while I was still in the middle of a paragraph because the thing was too loud. As I got older, I also knew, realistically, that I'd need an EDJ (Evil Day Job) to support my writing addiction. I didn't care. I always "played" with my fiction, even as later on I ended up doing a lot of non-fiction writing, editing, and even self-publishing of computer software tutorials. My fiction was always THERE, in my head, the characters talking to me. It was a low-grade fever constantly burning inside me, with the only relief being to WRITE.

Still is, to this day. I'm lucky enough I now get paid to write, but this didn't happen overnight. It took me over twenty-five years to transition through stages of life to get to the point where I could finally call fiction writing my EDJ. Not saying it takes everyone that long to get to this place, but I'm saying that the writers who start out as de novo writers tend to have the most consistent success, long-term, of all the writing types.

Why do I say that?

I'm not saying the jus sanguinis writers don't or can't have success. Some do have great success. But they tend more toward the academic end of the spectrum, or literary fiction, not genre fiction. They might also be professors or teachers or other types of jobs where they're still surrounded by books and writing. Their internal fire is more like a pilot light.

The Thurston Howell, III types--well, fuck them. Most of these types are unrepentant spammers at worst, or lazy one-off plagiarists writers at best. Fortunately, most of the rest of these types tend to quickly flame out when they realize it's not as easy as it looks. I don't think I've ever seen one of these types transition into honest-to-Goddess de novo writers with a true love of the craft. I have seen several of them offer really bad advice to newbies who don't realize how spammy they are, and guilt-by-association sets in, and legitimate authors of the other types shun the clueless newbies for their ties to the spammers.

The Gilligans of the writing world usually never intended to start out "published." It might have been a passing thought or fantasy at some point, but they never dreamed they could or would make a living at it. It's very common to see these kinds of writers overwhelmed when they first get a publishing contract. They never realized that writing the book was the EASIEST part of the process, and when they realize their work has only started upon landing a publishing contract, their eyes frequently glaze over and they retreat to a metaphorical corner and wish they could take it all back. However, it's not uncommon for Gilligans to morph into de novo writers once the culture shock of the career-track of publishing wears off and they get their feet under them. Some Gilligans never try to make a living at it, they just want to write their books. (And there's nothing wrong with that, either.)

(Warning: I'm NOT saying ALL writers do this, hence why I capitalized SOME. If the shoe doesn't fit you, don't bitch at me that I'm trying to cram that fucker on your foot and lace it up, 'kay?)

SOME de novo writers are resentful of Gilligans, because the de novos often worked their asses off for years to get published, and know the back-end of the business, and are trying to balance the art and business of publishing so they don't have to ask, "Do you want fries with that?" a thousand times a day. They resent the Gilligans' frequent bumbling newbie questions that a simple perusal through most Writing/Publishing 101 websites/books/Writers Digest articles would answer. It's pretty much encoded in the de novos' DNA.

On the flip side of that, I've seen SOME Gilligans who view the de novos as bitchy or callous or uncaring or _____ because all the Gilligan wants to do is WRITE now that it's a THING they can do, and they can't understand why they HAVE to learn all this other SHIT about "publishing" when all they want to do is write their books. When a de novo honestly offers up helpful 101 advice, thinking they're helping, SOME Gilligans respond with, well, bitchiness or snark instead of a simple "thank you" because they think the de novo is trying to sound all high and mighty like.

And this very common conflict was the source of the kerfluffle I witnessed earlier on the email loop. My de novo friend offered up what I and others (de novos and Gilligans alike) thought was a very succinct, helpful roadmap of sorts. Then, of course, because the INTERWEBZ feeds on outrage (ha, and you thought it was electricity and black majick), some other Gilligan had to get their cunt twisted out of joint over it and reply with snark instead of either a) ignoring it, or b) the POLITE response of "thank you." (Fortunately, most of the people who responded took my friend's post in the helpful way it was intended. But as they say, there's at least one twatwaffle in every group.)

So why would my friend want to keep posting helpful advice if they're going to have an asshat or two slam them for it? Same-said asshats likely will come back later and accuse my friend of being a snooty, stand-offish "successful" author if my friend doesn't offer helpful advice later.

I frequently see SOME newbies make comments about SOME experienced authors who've had success, that they're stuck-up or inaccessible or ______ (bitchy, snooty, a royal cunt, etc.). Okay, yes, sometimes that shoe DOES fit. But frequently, and I've seen this in action more times than I can count, there's a case of mentor burn-out. Where experienced authors get to the point when they've answered the SAME question 1,000+ times, they finally snap and say, "Go fucking Google-Fu that, goddammit!" (Or at least they're thinking it while hitting DELETE on an unanswered email.) I'm not saying that's right or wrong, I'm just saying it IS. I've seen it happen. A few authors who mentored me early on have pretty much "gone dark"across the board in terms of writing 101 kinds of advice. And I can see why, because they got tired of answering the same questions--or getting metaphorically slapped in the face when they tried to be helpful. I've even had authors ADMIT this to me.

Damned if they do, damned if they don't.

I have to admit there are times I will roll my eyes at a question asked by someone, because I knew the answer to it in HIGH SCHOOL *mumble* decades ago because I had a subscription to Writers Digest even back then. It's not that people don't want to answer the newbies' questions, it's just that it honestly feels SOMEtimes like they want someone to hold their hand the whole way (that whole de novo versus Gilligan dynamic again) and not take a little initiative and just do a little fracking research on their own. (Google-Fu, padawan.) I do my best to mentor and help newbies when I can. Unfortunately, I can't sit down and walk every newbie that approaches me through the publishing gauntlet. I just can't. I'm too busy working and doing my own shit. Which is why I write tutorials (yes, I'm still revising the Pimp Yourself tutorial) to answer the common questions I get. Which is also why I refer people to the same websites and books I use/have used for answers. Which is also why I write blog posts about stuff that comes up again and again (and AGAIN) in forums, groups, and email loops.

I know that in blanting (blog+rant, yes I'm coining that if it's not coined already) my thoughts, I'm going to twist a few dicks into knots. I'm going to piss a few people off. (The INTERWEBZ demands OUTRAGE...)

I also realize that most people are either going to nod their heads in agreement with me, or they're going to read this and say, "Yeah, okay, I see where she's coming from."

And again, I'm not saying this shit's etched in concrete. There are writers who straddle the types, or who started out as one type and transitioned into another. I'm sure others will sit down and say there are more than the types I've described. (Knock yourself out, bunky.)

The bottom line and extremely circuitous point I'm trying to get to is, as I've always said, there's no finite pie with publishing. There's room for all types (the spammers tend to fizzle and die off on their own). It used to be that writers danced around inflammatory topics like earnings and sales and promo and stuff like that. Now anyone can start a blog or publish a book.

This is NOT a bad thing, folks.

Still, the INTERWEBZ demands OUTRAGE. Here's the thing--we're WRITERS. We WRITE. But sometimes we're the crappiest group at USING our WORDS effectively when it comes to dealing with each other. People want to sometimes assume the worst instead of assuming the best. And our outrage can bleed from our brain to the WHOLE GODDAMNED WORLD in 2.5 seconds or less (depending on your ISP and bandwidth speed).

And once it's on the Internet, baby, it's THERE. FOREVER. You think you can take it back a few hours later once you've calmed down and realized, "Hey, maybe I  misread that the first time around because I wasn't sufficiently caffeinated at the time." But you can't. You might think you can, but it's already hit inboxes, or it's cached somewhere, or someone screen-capped it, or whatever.

In this digital age, it's better NOT to jump into the fray right away unless you have a damn good reason to. Because there is a WHOLE world of outrage out there waiting to be unleashed upon the unsuspecting. No two writers come at their experience from the same angle or with the same background.

So, if someone offers up some advice, take it or don't. Don't snark at them because they gave it in the first place, solicited or not. You might easily find yourself on the wrong end of the stick and wishing you could take your words back.

Writer Beware: How to research a publisher.

I posted over on my main blog how to research a publisher.

Click here to read.

Writer Beware: See, I told you so - Silver Publishing kaput.

The ax finally fell on Silver Publishing.

Read about it here.

Publishing is NOT a zero-sum game.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Publishing is NOT a zero-sum game. (Kind of knew I was going to say that from the title, huh?)

For all practical purposes, there is not some finite pool of readers who will only buy a limited amount of books every year.

There isn't.

There is NOT.

Being jealous because another author sells more than you (which, in some cases, you might not even be correct about) does nothing but make you look like an amateur and waste your time and energy that you could be spending...oh...WRITING.

Do we all wish we could be making enough money we could wipe our asses with $10 bills instead of plain old TP? Duh. But just because someone bought Suzie McWriter's book doesn't mean they will automatically shun your book.

There are a number of reasons someone might buy someone else's book besides yours. Some of those things, we can control (cover--in some cases, writing, editing quality, story, characters, cover blurb, our author reputation) and some of them, we can't (viral word-of-mouth marketing, random news coverage or celebrity endorsement, position of Mercury as it trines with the friggin' moon).

Suck. It. Up.

Deal with it.

Quit acting like a baby.

Authors who anonymously one-star other authors, or who, as Lynn Shepherd did, tear down other authors and tell them they're so successful they should stop effing writing and trash their work without even READING it first, or who do any number of douchebaggery things in what they perceive is sticking it to another author, are doing nothing but hurting themselves.

You think readers don't see this shit and add you to their DO NOT READ list? Think again, bunky.

They do. They see it. They might not comment on it, but they see it. And then they spread the word. They spread the word NOT to read your books because you're a jealous tool who would rather whine about someone else's success instead of congratulating them.

Who'd rather piss and moan about your failures instead of doing something constructive like working on improving your craft.

Who'd rather get their jollies backstabbing other authors instead of getting out in the reader community and networking with readers who, if they became loyal to you, would be a powerful marketing force more valuable than any money could buy.

Forget the whining. Forget the gnashing of your teeth that someone hit the bestseller list and you didn't.

Is it natural to wish you sold as many books as someone else? Duh, of course it is. But unless that person is JK Rowling, or Stephen King, or some other A-list author, you probably have the same starting chances of selling as many, or more, books than another author in the long-run. It doesn't mean a more successful author should stop writing. There isn't some limited space out there that bumps other writers out into the cold. Not anymore.

It's called e-books, biatches. And, for those of you who still have your heads buried in the sands of the Dark Ages of publishing, that means someone can carry around an iPhone or e-reader with THOUSANDS of books on it.

Some people do just that.

Does that sound like a limited playing field to you?

Not to me, it doesn't.

Frankly, there are indie- and self-published authors out there making as much or more than many midlist traditionally published authors.

Let THAT sink in for a minute. New York isn't the be-all, end-all of publishing any more. You do NOT have to make it onto the NYT or USA Today bestsellers lists to be a success. And it's becoming more common for traditionally published authors to get their start indie- and self-pubbing, gaining notice from traditional publishers and then getting traditional contracts for their books as a result.

You think a publisher won't Google-search your ass and pass you up if you piss and moan about an author that has probably done more single-handedly to encourage reading among kids in this generation than a shit-ton of other writers combined?

If you make a friend of a reader, and they like you, they're more likely to go check out and one-click your books, if they're available in e-book format. But if they see you acting like a twatwaffle, you're likely to get written, in permanent ink, on their DNR list.

So don't pull a Lynn Shepherd. Don't be a twatwaffle.

Be kind, rewind.

Wait. I meant the be kind part, but it's late and I'm on deadline with fried Fibrofog brain right now.

It doesn't hurt you to be nice to fellow authors. It really doesn't. It doesn't hurt you at all. In fact, readers notice THAT,  too. They pass around the fact that they like you. You cannot buy that kind of advertising, seriously. You just can't.

Even if you don't like a fellow author, just...ignore them. Say nothing.

I'm lucky that I have a great bunch of friends who are fellow authors. We try to help pick each other up and dust each other off when we're feeling down, congratulate each other on our successes, cheer each other on when we're trying to make deadline, help each other brainstorm when we're stuck. Mostly women, a few guys, too.

We don't feel a need to backstab each other. Why do that? I'd rather cheer my fellows on than piss on their parade. Just like they cheer me on.

I believe in the old adage of what goes around, comes around. That's why I've always tried to help newbie authors when I can. Sometimes, they even come back to me later and tell me of their own successes. You know what? I'm HAPPY for them. I'm glad that I was able to give them advice or encourage them to keep trying. And they can pass it on, and so on.

Since when did it become cool to be mean? Since when is THAT a "family value," so to speak?

I'm sorry, maybe I'm lame, but I personally sleep better at night living the way I do, feeling happy for my fellow authors. I actually feel sorry for the authors who do the jealous teenager bitchypants crap. They're obviously emotionally stunted.

Maybe instead of all the one-stars Lynn Shepherd is getting, people should simply start ignoring her. Some have said that maybe this was a calculated attempt at PR on her part to get attention. Um, can you say "backfire?" Because I'm sorry, I wouldn't want the first thing someone came up with Google-searching my name to be me dissing JK Rowling and pissing off millions of readers who love her work.

If that was her original intention...well... *shrugs* Here's your sign, Lynn. Here's your sign.

Dear Lynn Shepherd - I suggest you get a new pen name.

Okay, this rant was sparked by THIS article on HuffPo by one Lynn Shepherd. Who, by now, is probably wishing she'd listened to her friend's advice and NOT written this. Her books are being 1-stared left and right on the 'Zon now by people who never read them, using her own words against her.

TL;DR version: She disses the Harry Potter series despite admitting she's never read them, and laments that JK Rowling is the reason she's not selling books, because JK is just SO dang popular and adult readers are turning their minds to mush by not reading more gown-up fare.

I didn't much mind Rowling when she was Pottering about. I've never read a word (or seen a minute) so I can't comment on whether the books were good, bad or indifferent. I did think it a shame that adults were reading them (rather than just reading them to their children, which is another thing altogether), mainly because there's so many other books out there that are surely more stimulating for grown-up minds. But, then again, any reading is better than no reading, right? But The Casual Vacancy changed all that.

*gag*

Maybe we need to ask her when the funeral for her pen name is and all send flowers, because, damn, I can't think of a faster way to totally tank your career than to piss off a WORLD of readers by looking like a jealous, petty, wannabe hack.

My response?

Wow. Lynn, darling, you REALLY should have listened to your friend. You just totally tanked your pen name, you realize that, right?

This is THE best illustration, EVER, to newbie authors on what NOT to say in public and how NOT to piss off a world of readers and fellow writers. So thank you for that, at least. Your post probably spawned a metric shit-ton of blog posts on what NOT to do.

Instead of whining about successful writers, how about working on your craft and, oh, maybe on your people skills? From your article, I suspect I know EXACTLY why you aren't selling a lot of books. You come off as arrogant, jealous, petty, and judgmental. *shrugs* Just calling them as I see them.

Do I wish I was making JK's earnings? Sure. But instead of whining about how successful she is, I'm GLAD she and EL James and all the others are doing great. It means that reading is ALIVE AND WELL. Just because it's not your cuppa doesn't mean it's wrong.

I think you need to look in the mirror when you talk about people who should stop writing. You're obviously in it for all the wrong reasons.

Self-pubbing sh*t volcano. Yep, sums it up.

The ever-eloquent Chuck Wendig has another piece of awesomeness on his blog today about self-publishing. Not that he's against it, because as he says in his blog, he's also a self-pubber for some projects. But about WHY it's so important as a self-pubber to make sure you do it RIGHT.

Hire an editor, for chrissake. Pay for cover art.

He's absolutely right that there's a total flood of crap out there. I mean bad formatting, bad (or no) editing, etc.

If you want to practice, or publish something for free, go use Scribd or any number of other sites out there, hell, your own WP or Blogger site, for that. But if you want to be taken serious as an author, yes, quality DOES matter. Editing DOES matter. Covers DO matter.

And I'm sick and tired of hearing self-pubbers bitch about sales, and when I go look at their book, their cover sucks, their blurb is horrendous and full of errors (or, worse, is a sample), and then the sample is utter crap.

No one's saying you shouldn't self-publish. But do you turn your teenager loose on the highway with your car without making sure they know what the frak they're doing first? NO. No, no one dies if you publisher a shitty book--well, just your reputation with readers, your sales, and your potential career.

Do NOT use self-publishing as your editing service. Readers do NOT appreciate it when you charge them money and them ask them to correct your manuscript. That's like the plumber coming to your house and standing on the sidelines while YOU take a dive into your own septic tank, and then he charges YOU for the privilege.

So go visit Chuck's blog post. Right now.

Right. Fracking. Now.

http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2014/02/03/slushy-glut-slog-why-the-self-publishing-shit-volcano-is-a-problem/

Thou Shalt Nots on Facebook for authors.

I hear authors, usually newer authors, complaining about Facebook all the time. Either their page got shut down, or they were kicked from a group, or whatever. Sometimes, yes, there is no logical explanation.

But.

Frequently, I've seen authors who run afoul of Facebook and other Facebook users for the following "infractions." Some are violations of Facebook's TOS, and some are just violations of basic etiquette. And so I present to you "the list" of the most common things you SHOULD NOT FUCKING DO on Facebook.

Note: It DOES NOT MATTER that Facebook allows you/gives you the ability/encourages you to do some of these things. It's one thing to be an average person using Facebook. You're an AUTHOR. Grow the fuck up and take some personal responsibility and quit whining about getting spanked in the bad way for violating what are pretty basic guidelines for acceptable behavior as an author.

1. Do NOT add people to a Facebook group without asking them first. Using the "invite" feature actually adds them. (The proper way? Post a LINK to the group to your page/profile and let people opt-in.)
2. Do NOT go through other people's friends lists and send out masses of friend requests.
3. Do NOT send out mass invites for people to like your pages. (The proper way? Post a LINK for the page to your page or to your profile and let people opt-in.)
4. Do NOT go to the profile of someone who just accepted your friend request/friended you and post a link -- ANY LINK -- to your book/page/profile/crap. That's RUDE. Do not private message them, either. I don't care what excuse you're using, STOP IT. Do NOT ask them to go visit your page/profile/book listing/website and ask them to like something. (The proper way? Send them a thank you -- NO LINKS -- for the friend connection. That's IT.)
5. Do NOT go to someone's profile or page and post links to YOUR crap without getting permission FIRST. That's the equivalent of going and slapping a billboard on someone's house without asking permission. STOP IT.
6. Do NOT get pissy if someone doesn't immediately go and like something you posted.
7. Do NOT ask for or expect reciprocal likes/links to your crap.
8. Do NOT join a group and immediately begin posting promo. (Make SURE you look through any pinned posts or files to see if they have rules about promo.) Obviously, this doesn't apply if the group invites people to promote, but make SURE you clarify that FIRST.
9. Do NOT post stuff without proofreading it first. No one wants to buy a book from an author whose social media page looks like a third-grader runs it.
10. Do NOT use your profile to heavily promote your crap. Use a page. (Facebook is now frequently coming down on authors with pen names whose profiles are set up under their pen names and not their real names, which means you lose that platform if they shut down your profile.) Set up your page and have at least two full admins on it, such as your pen name profile and your private profile. (I blogged about another reason for it here.)
11. Do NOT post non-stop promo (yes, ties in with #10). Post at least 75% (or more) NON-promo stuff. Humor. Writing quotes. Recipes. What you had for dinner. Pictures of your cats. Pictures of your dogs. Whatever. Post no more (preferably less than) 25% promo-ish (pimping your crap) stuff. (Facebook is seriously cracking down on people who use their profiles to sell stuff.)
12. Do NOT post raging diatribes when you get kicked out of a group/unfriended by someone. It makes you look like a seriously deranged whacko.
13. Do NOT post diatribes against fellow authors/publishers, especially not by name. Again, makes you look like the crazy one.
14. Do NOT post negative reviews about other authors/books. Readers hate that, it makes you look petty, and it will adversely impact your sales.
15. Do NOT sit there and keep track of who is or isn't in your group (if you have one) or who has/hasn't liked your page. Seriously, don't you have better things to do with your time?
16. Do NOT send out mass invites to events. (The proper way? As with pages and groups, post a LINK to your page/profile.)
17. Do NOT send out game invites from your author profile. Stop it. Just FUCKING STOP IT. A lot of people do NOT play games. Are you there to be an author or play games? Save the games for your private profile and personal friends/family.
18. Do NOT get pissy with someone if they don't share your stuff when you shared theirs. Just quietly remember it and stop sharing their stuff. It's NOT a contest. Grow up.
19. Do NOT flounce. In other words, if you need to leave a group or unfriend someone, just fucking do it and be an adult. Don't go all ragey or preachy and explain WHY you're leaving/unfriending someone. Just fucking unfriend them. Giving them a sermon as to why you're doing it, honestly, will likely just piss them off more. (And keep in mind, you might NOT be in the right, and if you realize that at some point in the future, it makes it harder to refriend/rejoin while you're shoveling down that mountain of crow pie you have to eat at the same time.)
20. Do NOT stay a member of groups/friends with people who negatively impact your experience. You are NOT required to friend anyone or stay in a group. If someone asks, you're not required to explain. If you feel a need to explain, use the, "Sorry, time/family/job constraints" excuse, and Let. It. Go.
21. Do NOT sit there and like your own stuff. That makes you look needy and pathetic. Despite a popular myth making the rounds, it does NOT make your stuff hit the Facebook algorithm better if you like your own posts. If you find people aren't liking your stuff, guess what? Maybe it's because you haven't given them a REASON TO LIKE IT, or you.
22. Do NOT hijack other people's threads with links to your page/crap. If they didn't invite promo in the thread, it's RUDE to post your promo.
23. Do NOT hit people up out of thin air to promo your crap on their page/profile/website. Get to know them first. Ask them if they have promo opps, and if you can do reciprocal promo. If they say no, thank them POLITELY, and walk away. Do NOT be a pissy asshole about it, do NOT bug them about it. You don't know why they said no, it could be for ANY number of reasons NOT relating to you. (If a lot of people tell you no, however, be honest with yourself that it MIGHT be you and re-examine what you're doing.)
24. Do NOT bitch how pissy Facebook is if your profile keeps getting shut down. Chances are, YOU are doing something wrong. Own it, face up to it, and QUIT DOING IT. Biggest offenses? Spamming groups, mass-adding people to groups, posting questionable pics (just because you don't think it's porn doesn't mean other people won't think that).

The DO list:

1. DO try to go through the birthday list on the home feed page every day and send at least a simple "Happy Birthday!" message to people. They really appreciate it when their favorite authors do stuff like that.
2. DO feel free to share other authors' new releases, good news, etc. IF YOU WANT TO. (You are NOT obligated to do so.)
3. DO try to post some positive things, even if it's only sharing a funny picture or positive quote.
4. DO be human. You're not a robot. Yes, if you have a bad day and need to vent about something, do it, but do it in a way that doesn't make you look like an asshole. If you have a day job, keep in mind they might be monitoring your profile/page, so never post anything that would reflect badly on them and jeopardize your job.
5. DO set your friends list to private, viewable only by you. This keeps trolls from trolling your friends list.
6. DO engage with your readers. Ask them how they are. Get into discussions.
7. DO feel free to pimp out stuff/books/TV shows/movies you genuinely enjoyed.
8. DO remember that you are on Facebook first to SOCIALIZE. If you forget that, and make selling your priority, you will find your sales will fall.
9. DO remember that there are REAL people on the other end of the computer connection.
10. DO unfriend/block people/leave groups who are negatively impacting your experience on Facebook. (For example, if they post political stuff you don't agree with all the time, or are always bitching about others, etc.) You are not required to stay friends with someone.
11. DO have fun. Why would a reader want to connect with someone who does nothing but the equivalent of scream, "Buy my book!" at them all the time?
12. DO make friends with readers. They are NOT sales commodities, they are PEOPLE. They will be far more likely to buy your book and pimp your book for you if they LIKE YOU. Do you pimp businesses that you hate? No? Would you do business with someone trying to force-sell you something when you've never heard of them before and aren't even sure you need their services? NO? Well WHY WOULD YOU DO IT TO PEOPLE WITH YOUR BOOK??? (Yes, that was screaming.)
13. DO be a good online neighbor. Be chatty and friendly. Not saying you have to be on there every day for hours every day, but if you look at your feed over time and see little but negativity, guess what? Others WILL notice that. So take the time to be nice. Be friendly. Give kudos to others. Take a few steps back from the promo and post something other than "BUY MY SHIT" kinds of posts.
14. DO thank people when they tag you, or at least try to "like" what they tagged you in. Especially if it's readers tagging you/your books.
15. DO have a private profile that's separate from your author profile and ONLY for friends/family/real-world coworkers, and ONLY friend people you actually know on that profile. This is for your protection, as well as the protection of your family. There are crazy people out there now.
16. DO use a page as your main "author page," set the page custom URL to your pen name, and direct people THERE with all your links. Be careful with friending people on your author profile, especially if you write romance/erotica. There are a LOT of people now trolling romance/erotica authors, friending them, and then reporting their profiles as "offensive." You can set pages to over 18 years of age to keep minors off them, and there's more leniency for pages than there is for profiles in terms of promoting things for sale. Also, there are no limits to "likes" on pages, whereas there is an arbitrary 5k cap on friends for profiles.

If you have any other DO or DO NOT tips for Facebook, feel free to post them in the comments.

Kristen Lamb is a social media GURU for authors. You absolutely MUST read her book Rise of the Machines: Human Authors in a Digital World. And her blog is located here. Why have you not subscribed yet???

Can I use song lyrics in a book?

Short Answer: No. (Not without written--and usually expensive--permission.)

Long Answer: Because songs are so short, "fair use" doesn't apply to them the same way it does to other written works. Song titles can be used, because you cannot copyright a title. However, you have to be careful how you do that if the title is a distinctive line from the song. If you reference it as lyrics and not as the title, it can bite you in the ass.

(NOTE: A friend of mine said that in some countries, it's NOT okay to use the titles. This post is for US writers, so be careful and do your research.)

The exception to using lyrics is if a song is old enough to be in the public domain. As in, it was written before 1923. Again, do your research.

But, but, I WANNA use song lyrics! 

Then make up your own. (You are a writer, are you not?) Make up an artist and song (with title) that expresses what you want to say, but in a different way than the popular song you want to quote. Or use JUST the title. Here's the thing: remember that in ten or twenty years, or whatever, the song and artist might be virtually unknown. You're far better off making up your own lyrics, which you can then publish in its entirety in the book without repercussions.

See the following links for more information:

Writer's Digest

Anne R. Allen

Robin's Nest

A Bad Publishing Contract Deconstructed

I posted a 3-part series on my website, where I deconstructed a really bad publishing contract that apparently a couple of small, start-up digital-first/POD publishers are using as their model contract.

And it's pretty bad.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

Another reason why authors should use Facebook pages and not profiles.

A follow-up to my last post about Facebook pages versus profiles for authors. This morning, in a private publisher group, one of my fellow authors posted a warning about someone whose stated age on their profile was only 15, yet they were having a friend-fest friending erotic romance authors.

Ahem.

Ignoring the whole parental supervision issue, there is a larger issue: many erotic romance authors had accepted friend requests FROM A MINOR. Think about that for a moment.

I know some erotic romance authors post naughty pictures on their profiles.

Sit and think about that for a moment. There could be legal ramifications to that.

When I went and looked at the profile in question, I personally pegged it as a religious troll, because the only other post on there was a graphic with the caption, "God sees all."

Yes, unfortunately, there are religious trolls out there who will friend romance authors and then report the profiles to Fb.

I admit I rarely accept friend requests any more, and it's even more rare I send a friend request. It's for several reasons, the first being that I'm over the 4k mark on friends. The second being I just went a couple of rounds with a stalker. The third being crap like this.

With a Facebook page, you can set age and even location restrictions on your page. This means you can promo the crap out of your Facebook link without worrying about an account held by a minor (if they haven't lied about their age) accessing your page.

This is also another excellent remind to everyone to set your friends list to PRIVATE. Because I guarantee you, this troll went down friends lists of people who friended her and started mass-friending people. If your friends list is set to private, people cannot do that. Do you open your phone contacts to the general population? No? Then why open your friends list the same way?

Pages, people. Pages. Set up a page, grab the custom url from Facebook to match your pen name, and use that as your main Facebook link. It will save you headaches like this in the long run, because unfortunately there are people out there more interested in causing erotic romance authors problems than dealing with their own lives.